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September 10, 2003

And now, for no reason at all, my Chick Tract collection.

On the left: My This Was Your Life! collection. Three in English, one in Zulu. On the right: Other tracts, including the utter and complete classics Somebody Loves Me and Doom Town. Titanic was, sadly, slightly damaged in an accident with a bit of blue tempra paint, but it's still legible.

Apart from the tract in Zulu, none of these tracts were bought; they were found, mostly in the porno sections of video stores, in bus shelters, on sidewalks, or in other dens of sin periodically haunted by queer-for-Christ, glassy-eyed busybodies far gone enough to think that Chick's crummy cartoon booklets have any worth other than in a purely ironic sense.

In case you don't know him, allow me to introduce you to Jack Chick, self-appointed president of God's fan club. For years and years (AND YEARS AND YEARS AND FUCKING YEARS JESUS CHRIST), Chick's been drawing, writing, and publishing "Chick tracts," teeny-weeny morality play comics designed to bring the reader into the glory of God. Oh, and convice them that Muslims are taking over the White House, Catholic churches are filled with secret graveyards of aborted fetuses, Dungeons and Dragons will make teenagers kill themselves and practice witchcraft, and Satan will come after you with a chainsaw if you celebrate Halloween.

"Fundie" doesn't even begin to cover it, folks.

You can read most of these tracts online at Chick's own site, and fuck, I say go for it. You could kill an hour just comparing the various incarnations of This Was Your Life!. The differences between the Swahili and English language versions are especially quaint, down to the zip-a-toned, bathrobe clad, lightbulb-headed black God. But the Japanese language version's no slouch, either; check out that soul-saving, SUPER MANGA STYLE! KAMI-SAMA IS SO SUGOI, NE??

Posted by Spike at September 10, 2003 11:55 AM

Comments

This makes me wish I hadn't thrown aside the "Happy Halloween" Chick tract I had found waiting for a train back to NY from Philly.

At least I have a "The Athiest Test" tract to laught at. Apparrenly, us Athiests are supposed to be afraid of Bananas...

Posted by Rich at September 10, 2003 11:12 PM
128.238.78.50

Cest magnifique! Good god (har!), that's a lot of religious froofraw. What's really depressing is that one of these days someone's going to see the profit in a big glossy Jack Chick coffee table anthology book, and make the guy a heap of money.
So, are you collecting these things, then? There's a great one floating around DC, the "Tree of Good and the Tree of Evil." (the latter includes such debaucherous sins as "spirits" and "dance.") Anyhows, yeah. SO MUCH CHICK.

-AS ( personal fave: "Whatever Happened to Rabbi Waxman?")

Posted by AInsley S at September 11, 2003 01:02 AM
66.125.230.18

AWESOME.

For the record, I have "Who Murdered Clarice". Found it on the bus one day. I also saw a Spanish-language tract once, but was unable to grab it.

Posted by Computolio at September 11, 2003 02:47 AM
66.238.96.30

I just wish the churches around here quit it with the "This Was Your life!" tract already. I ALREADY HAVE FOUR! Who do I have the stab between the eyes to get "The Nervous Witch"? It blames Harry Potter for damning millions of children to Hell... I'd buy it, but I'm a purist... you don't buy Chick tracks... half the fun is the hunt....

Posted by Spike at September 11, 2003 03:38 AM
68.20.34.69

I looked around n the bastard's website, and found this leaflet called "Life Came From....Soup?". It is supposed to prove to students that evolution is false. Gotta tell ya, these kinds of things make my fingers itch for my shotgun. Leave well enough alone, ne? Fuckin' religiosities.

Posted by The Bloated Camel at September 13, 2003 12:07 AM
205.188.209.109

What a riot. I've found a couple lying around on ATM machines here in town. Why ATM machines? Greed? I dunno. They sure make me think twice before I withdraw that $20 for a night of debauchery....or...not.

Posted by jaclyn at September 13, 2003 11:30 PM
68.104.233.252

'm a christian. and i freakin hate jack chick's hateful garbage. why he worries so much about halloween and secret conspiracies is beyond me, when there's a world out there going to hell. whatever happened to sharing the gospel in love?

Posted by dave at November 5, 2003 03:13 PM
134.68.20.93

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