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September 11, 2003
Scribble scribble scribble IX.
This is Lorne.
Don't laugh. He could probably take your head off with that thing.
Lorne's unequaled mastery of the slingshot is a tidy, convenient metaphor for his approach to life in general. He's a treasure trove of useless information and pointless, antiquated, eccentric, or wholly unnecessary skills. If you need help unclogging your bathroom drain or installing shelves, call the super. But if you're interested in a rundown of the mating habits of Hawaii's extinct avians, the psychology of mylar balloon fetishists, or a detailed analysis of the creation myth of the Yanomami Indians of the Amazon basin... well, Lorne's your man.
He's got numerous degrees in numerous esoteric fields of study, none of which could ever hope to offer him steady employment. How he pays his rent, feeds himself, and keeps his lights on is a topic of considerable speculation among his neighbors.
Lorne's buddies with Ben and Bloom, and a casual acquaintance of Scipio, Sonny, and Gene. He gives Reagan the creeps. He gives the Elliots change.
Posted by Spike at September 11, 2003 10:44 AM
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