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December 18, 2003

Sam > Pippin > Merry > Gollum > Frodo.

Should you ever require evidence of my criminal stupidity, know this: I showed up to a movie theater at 10:00 on opening night to see the 10:30 showing of The Return of the King. And it never once occurred to me that this might be a problem.

Just got back from the midnight showing. And my opinion hardly matters, really... but I think it's a great movie, best I've seen in ages. And this is coming from a woman who doesn't like high fantasy, doesn't like Tolkien, and can't stand Hobbits. The pre-trilogy depictions of them, anyway.

Still hate elves, though. Fuck elves. Fuck elves right in the eye.

I won't bother actually reviewing it, because we all know what I'll say. But I will make a couple of suggestions: See it in a theater, don't wait for the DVD. It needs to be seen on huge scale to really be appreciated.

And it's nearly three and a half hours long. Take that pee break before the light goes down. Even if you don't think you have to.

Posted by Spike at December 18, 2003 05:04 AM

Comments

Alrighty, then.

*joyfully skullfucks Legolas*

Posted by Bill at December 18, 2003 05:50 AM
208.22.32.230

is it alright if I like Elrond? The elves are such arrogant bastards, and he doesn't bother to pretend otherwise.

Plus, Hugo Weaving, man, who else could play a drag queen, an elf lord, an evil virus, and a possibly-psychopath all within 7 years of each other?

Posted by Dylan at December 18, 2003 10:00 AM
64.252.250.173

I used to have nightmares of the old animated hobbits. ACTUALLY... I still have nightmares of the old animated hobbits.

Posted by Shannon at December 18, 2003 12:18 PM
152.163.252.198

That's alright, your hatred for elves is nulled out by my love for them. And yes, I do love Tolkien elves, and elves in general. But hell, like you need to hear what you already know.

Posted by Karen K. at December 18, 2003 01:41 PM
172.197.50.188

Haw haw.

My trouble with elves is the painfully widespread emulation of Tolkein's depiction of 'em. EVERYONE paints 'em as willowy xenophobics in the woods who are either rare, dying out, or going off somewhere mysterious. An original approach to elves is so rare now that I basically won't read any fantasy novel with elves in it. I use them as a litmus test, maybe inaccurately, for how by-the-numbers the book's gonna be.

"Chapter Twleve: Our Hero runs into A Bunch of Elves, who sniff disdainfully ay him!"

Uck. Even dwarves get a dose of innovation now and then, you know?

I know it's not Tolkien's fault, but copycats have made me positively sick of elves. (All that AD&D probably didn't hurt, either. OMG nerd.)

Posted by spike at December 18, 2003 02:54 PM
68.20.212.217

The elves are such arrogant bastards because they are such bad-asses. Phuck! Legolas goes climbing up a oliphant and kicks some major F-ing ass! course I won't give it away and tell what happens, you just have to see...

also one word... Eagles

Posted by Tom at December 18, 2003 04:46 PM
66.192.7.149

Bah. Not all elves are super badass, Legolas is a unique case. If every elf could do what he did, I seriously doubt they woulda gotten their asses handed to them so badly at Helm's Deep.

Posted by spike at December 18, 2003 05:10 PM
68.20.212.217

You should check out "Lords and Ladies" by Terry Pratchett, then. Of course, Pratchett's usually a good cure for the generic fantasy blues.

But anyway, yeah, it's a great working of the entire "elves" mythology. Like for example, all those old folk practices, like horseshoes on the door, leaving milk out at night, etc etc? They're to keep the elves from summarily slaughtering your family. Fun book.

Posted by Nick F at December 19, 2003 02:58 PM
131.191.57.27

Pratchett? Doesn't he do the Discworld series? I love what I've read of those so far. Or rather, heard of 'em; I listen to a lot of audiobooks while I work. Pratchett-style elves are probably something I could take pretty easily. Thanks for the tip-off.

Posted by spike at December 19, 2003 11:41 PM
68.20.212.217

Yes! Another Pratchett fan! I am also relieved by how he portrays elves. He takes it back to the old, classic wives tales that tell of iron and how evil they are. While I do not hate elves as they are in Tolkien books, its just refreshing in Pratchett's works.

Posted by kendie at March 11, 2004 05:21 PM
63.158.244.85

I love Frodo Baggins as an outstanding character of LOTR.

Posted by Frodo Baggins at April 10, 2004 01:54 PM
81.25.33.241

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