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July 06, 2004

Hello! I'm Here to Ruin Your Day!

I've been watching what I eat more carefully for the past couple of months. I'm not a food-group-demonizing diet Nazi just yet, but I figure choking down less garbage could only work in my favor in the long run.

Part of figuring out what's worth eating is looking up the nutritional info for crap online. A lot of restaurants (but not enough) keep pretty detailed calorie counts on their corporate websites. It's gotten to the point that I don't trust the ones that don't... Not that the high-volume chow outfits describing the naked horror of their menus in lurid, heart-stopping detail makes things any better for 'em. There are places I just don't go anymore.

Case in point: Click the Trixie.

Long ago, every once in a blue moon, I'd give in and walk the four steps to the Starbucks next door for a Caramel Frappuccino. Not anymore.

This link is practically atrocity tourism. It's always worth posting because of the shock and misery it seems to inpsire.

I'm sure nobody ordering their daily Strawberries & Creme thingamajig from Starbucks thinks of it as health food, but they probably don't think that they're sipping on a Big Mac, either.

Look up your favorite! Ride that wave of mild, nauseous terror! Never touch a caramel brownie again!

Posted by Spike at July 6, 2004 09:06 AM

Comments

Yeah, I heard something about the gagillion calories in their drinks a little while back. Luckily, I have the metabolism of a crack-fiend hummingbird, and besides...

Um, this may be a difficult thought to process for city-folk, but where I live... the closest Starbucks is 30 miles away.

And there is only ONE.

Posted by spookable at July 6, 2004 09:44 AM
205.188.116.147

Yup, I've known about that for awhile now. The average mocha has as much fat as a slice of cheesecake.

Posted by Lisa Jonte at July 6, 2004 11:15 AM
69.42.3.13

This is why when I have one of those things, I treat them as a meal substitute.

Posted by Lea at July 6, 2004 11:53 AM
68.203.203.122

*weeps* I'm going to go home and eat a jar of mayonnaise. It probably has less fat than the white mocha I get EVERY DAY.

Posted by meggish at July 6, 2004 02:08 PM
64.186.249.178

Starbucks Coffee tastes like shit anyway.

Overpriced shit as well. Just give me a plain cup of very strong coffee, with a little bit of cream to cool it down.

I'm a caffieind.

Posted by Rich at July 6, 2004 02:13 PM
141.151.92.134

Coffee, coffee, that magical bean,
a lovely brown liquid full of caffeine.

The more you drink the more you wake up
But after too much you want to throw up

So drink your coffee but not to excess
Or you'll be too jittery and make a big mess

Posted by Joe at July 7, 2004 06:49 AM
65.0.123.118

I love you, coffee,
you make me glow.
You make me shine,
I love you so.
My nerves don't like you,
but what do they know?

Ten points to anyone who can tell me which newspaper cartoon that little ditty came from.

What's just as awful as Starbucks nutrional content is looking up various sandwich joints. You'd think a sub sandwich would be healthy, wouldn't you...

Posted by Anon, A Mouse at July 7, 2004 11:30 AM
67.167.46.126

Garfield. But I had to research it exhaustively.

Posted by Joe at July 9, 2004 10:50 PM
68.155.126.252

"It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion,
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
The hands acquire shaking, the shaking becomes a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion."

Posted by Rich at July 11, 2004 12:19 AM
141.151.84.152

I wonder if I could get that logo on a shirt.

Posted by The Bloated Camel at July 13, 2004 02:19 PM
68.239.227.109

You used to be able to. Then Starbucks sued the artists who made it, apparently failing to understand the concept of "parody." So not anymore....

Posted by spike at July 13, 2004 04:18 PM
68.20.209.98

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