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August 23, 2004

The Only Marvel Comic I Would Ever Read.

I want a monthly from Marvel about an early-middle-aged housewife who turns out the be a serious late-bloomer in the mutant power department.

Her name should be something common and normal, like... I dunno, Caitlyn or Lindsay. And Lindsay will have given up a career in advertising a few years ago to stay home and raise two kids, a boy and a girl, twelve and ten, and be financially dependent on her husband. Let's call him Nate.

Nate and Lindsay's marriage isn't really working, but not in a glamourous, crockery-throwing, on-a-first-name-basis-with-the-local-cops sort of way. They just don't have much to say to each other anymore. You know those couples who never hang out together, never kiss, and never talk about one another? Yeah. That's Nate and Lindsay. It's a quiet kinda dissatisfaction. They'll probably get divorced, but not soon. Not until the kids are out of the house.

Speaking of the kids, the son's a blossoming jock. Soccer on Tuesdays, lacrosse on Thursdays, softball on Saturdays. Not a genius, but a Bs-and-Cs sort of mediocre. Nothing his folks can see getting bent out of shape over enough to form a united front against. The daughter's probably odd, but not in a trendy way. Maybe she sews her own dolls. Probably wears Coke-bottle glasses. Insists on making complicated vegetable garnishes for all the family dinners.

Anyway.

Set the scene in Suburbia, USA. And Lindsay's suddenly kind of achey and pukey and whatnot. Up three times in one night, hugging the bowl, sayin' good-to-see-you-again to yesterday's supper.

Shit, thinks Lindsay. I am pregnant, panics Lindsay. I can't do this again. Not with things the way they are now.

She pulls it together, acts borderline-normal for two or three days, and heads downtown on Wednesday to her friendly neighborhood vag doctor... who promply informs her that no, she is not pregnant. But her bloodwork is... odd. I'm going to give you the number of a specialist.

Specialist? OH SHIT I HAVE CANCER DON'T I WELL THAT JUST FIGURES

No Lindsay, cancer would be about a billion times more socially acceptable.

And the specialist... well, we can guess what he says.

But my name isn't Bendis, so... yeah. Never mind.

Posted by Spike at August 23, 2004 09:13 AM

Comments

Whoa.

No really, whoa.

Posted by Brenna at August 23, 2004 10:00 AM
67.170.164.193

You need to have Nate thinking of boffing his office receptionist. Not actually boffing her mind you, (that would take his making a real decision) just thinking about it all the time.

Now package that baby and send it off to the big M!

Posted by Lisa Jonte at August 23, 2004 10:22 AM
69.42.3.13

This is some seriously cool shit. Maybe you could get a petition out, get a couple hundred sigs at some cons, and THEN send it to Marvel. They'd at least lookit it then, yes?

Posted by The Bloated Camel at August 23, 2004 10:27 AM
68.239.178.2

nice...very nice!

Posted by Jon Silpayamanant at August 23, 2004 11:44 AM
172.133.70.128

Pls write and sketch issue one.

Hell, kick it up a notch and take it to CC and get help doing it, its a nice idea.

Posted by Jeet at August 23, 2004 01:46 PM
83.146.63.42

Ahahaha.

I really, really, really don't think Marvel would give a damn about this. Some lower-level clerk assigned mail duty for the day might get a chuckle out of the concept, but it wouldn't really go anywhere. It's not the adolescent power fantasy the bulk of Marvel's readership craves, and it's not the anime-esque stuff they're putting out these days to try and draw manga-fan kids into the fold, either.

But what the hell, I'll show it to a friend of mine who does stuff for the big guys,s ee what he thinks of it. Don't hold your breath, though. :)

Posted by spike at August 23, 2004 08:41 PM
68.20.211.71

You would probably like "The Pro", a parody of the superhero genre a bit similar to your idea, except casting a prostitute in the role instead of a housewife. Funny shit. I recommend it, if that means anything. Some review links...

http://www.thefourthrail.com/reviews/critiques/081902/pro.shtml

http://www.thefourthrail.com/reviews/snapjudgments/081902/pro.shtml

Posted by Kim at August 23, 2004 08:43 PM
24.90.10.143

Yeah, The Pro was awesome. I just wish the damn thing wasn't a one-shot. I definitely coulda done with a few more issues of that.

Posted by Matt at August 23, 2004 09:03 PM
68.20.211.71

Why does this have to be a Marvel title to get made? Pull a Watchmen and put it in an eerily-similar universe full of suspiciously-familiar characters. Or don't. Do something else.

I mean, I see why Marvel'd be ideal for this, just not why it couldn't be an awesome story otherwise.

Posted by echeneida at August 28, 2004 06:20 PM
209.214.101.52

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