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Comments
Will they come with cookies? I can handle a bad fortune a lot better if it comes with a cookie treat.
Posted by scratch chickie at November 28, 2004 01:51 PM
4.10.172.102
Make people cry and I'll pay you an additional $5 for every bad fortune you give out. But you gotta take pictures.
Posted by Lisa Jonte at November 28, 2004 02:45 PM
69.107.49.240
Apropos to Scratch Chikie, I actually always wanted someone to run with this idea for fortune cookies. (Not me, since I have zero desire to do any work involving the damn things.) But anyway, for example:
YOUR DOOM IS AT HAND. Lucky numbers are: death, death, death, and hanging.
Don't go home early from work today. It's best for everyone.
Let's face it: you're looking at a long, slow decay into unfulfilled uselessness.
...oh, except they should all be more gnomic and badly-translated.
Posted by Nick Fagerlund at November 28, 2004 03:13 PM
66.41.74.111
it's a wonder you're not rich already. i'd pay just to see rats in old ladies' hair.
Posted by Jenn at November 28, 2004 07:45 PM
69.4.139.2
Dittos (AUGH, RUSH HAS GOT ME!) on the fortune cookies. Some of the following would be nice:
"Everything you suspect is true. You know what you must do."
"Duck."
"You are never bitter, petty, or deceitful - BUT I AM."
I actually turned that last one into a class project.
Posted by Spookable at November 28, 2004 09:31 PM
68.210.251.48
I just had a conversation about this tonight. People in the revenge-supply business really ought to look into the idea, or Chinese resturant owners should keep a bin of the things for annoying customers.
And Spike...I'd pay just to see the rats.
Posted by undeadcleopatra at November 28, 2004 10:37 PM
157.160.164.197
Ooo. Yes, I've done something similar. Because AUTHENTIC GYPSIES, young though they may be, with their long hair and their striped scarves are almost as good as probably-voodoo-ladies. (How a bunch of Americans, whose exposure to gypsies is probably limited to the what-the-fuck-cartoons from Disney-does-Hugo, still manage to recognize a Romani, is beyond me. The fact that they follow me around stores no matter how preppy I dress I can only attribute to race memory, or something equally Nazi.) But it's very, very good for making people nervous.
"A woman has you, but you do not have her. Do you know many poets? Here's the drowned man across the hanged man, so you will have to hurry. If you're not fast enough, they will catch you, and you won't be able to fool them anymore."
Posted by Samara at November 30, 2004 04:34 AM
4.27.7.93
Hmmm... I bet if you age right you'll look just like the Oracle from the Matrix. Then that'd be an easy sell. Maybe you could even star in a spinoff movie. 50 years later.
Then you could charge 30.
Posted by Psychomelody at November 30, 2004 11:24 AM
160.79.140.207
I once sat on the metro next to a woman who had roaches in her hair (she didn't seem to notice). As far as I know she wasn't a seer.
As for cookie doomsayings-
"She's pregnant"
"They spit in your egg mei-fun"
"Stay with your wife"
Posted by michaelpatrick at November 30, 2004 05:26 PM
63.164.145.198
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