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January 03, 2005

Happy New Year! List ten people who won't live to see 2006.

NO WADING IN THE DEAD POOL YOU GUYS OK

Sure Things:

- Pope John Paul II. C'mon.

- Rosa Parks. C'mon.

- Kurt Vonnegut. Sorry, nerds. Check the birthdate.

- H. R. Geiger. Don't ask me why, I just feel it coming.

- Richard Pryor. We've been seeing less and less of him. And you know what that means.

- Michael Jackson, after he's found guilty. And he will be. Suicide.

- Courtney Love. All the perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten that little hand. (Cough.)

- Supreme Court Chief Justice William Rehnquist. Thyroid cancer? Never caught early. Never.

- King Fahd. Born in 1923. Diabetic. Living in Saudi Arabia. UHM.

- Jerry Lewis. Falling apart.


Honorable Mentions:

Fidel Castro.
Bob Barker.
George Carlin.


Wild Card:

Kelly Osbourne. Please.

Posted by Spike at January 3, 2005 02:31 AM

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Comments

 

Hey, leave Geroge Carlin outta this.

Posted by Lisa Jonte at January 3, 2005 08:29 AM
69.107.49.240

 

man, I thought Vonnegut was already dead.

My list will definitely include KoKo the gorilla. That bitch just thinks she's sooo smart. I'll show her.

I'll have to think of another nine people now.

Posted by michaelpatrick at January 3, 2005 05:58 PM
63.164.145.85

 

What? No Ray Bradbury? No Arthur C. Clarke?

Posted by Computolio at January 3, 2005 10:49 PM
66.238.96.224

 

I dig on Carlin as much as the next embittered cynic but... I don't know. IT FEELS RIGHT.

And there was a wealth of authors to pick from, weren't there? Maybe those two you suggested should be alternates for Vonnegut, Comp...

Posted by spike at January 4, 2005 01:39 AM
68.252.73.110

 

Hmm... Nancy Reagan. Very soon, I say by March. She's been playing the devoted house wife for decades, of course she has to die within months of him!

Another Kennedy. Take your pick, it's about time for another one... My money's on Ted, but my heart's on Governor Arnold...

Would you beat me up if I said Dick Clark? I know it's a given...

That's all I've got for now. I don't have my "Young and Overdosed" yet... that one's harder to call...

Posted by spookable at January 4, 2005 10:07 AM
68.210.250.201

 

Dick Cheney (please, Dog?)
William F. Buckley

I truly hope that Kelly Osborne - and her turd of a sibling, for that matter - buy the farm before they breed.

Posted by Maladjust at January 6, 2005 09:07 AM
198.214.190.20

 

I'm still working on my list, but a shoe-in this year is Anna Nicole Smith. She has the look of death about her.

Posted by michael patrick at January 6, 2005 11:24 AM
151.204.193.125

 

Ohh, yes, Patrick! I believe you've found my Young and Overdosed! Will she be found in a hotel room, or another celebrity's condo?

Parker Brothers should make a board game out of this...

Posted by spookable at January 7, 2005 02:07 PM
68.210.251.29

 

In keeping with my *hope* to see both Fat-and-Ugly and Jack-off Osbourne buy their respective farms, I'll actually wager good money that this is the year that Ozzy's long-suffering organs call it quits. His brain already went out-of-business around 1978, but he apparently didn't need that very much.

And while we're on the subject of Families That I Wanna See Die, how about all of those backward-ass redneck Simpsons...the alleged "singers" and "actresses" and their pimp of a father, not Homer and his brood.

Posted by Maladjust at January 8, 2005 11:44 AM
168.39.81.6

 

Quincy Jones. The second you get a US terrestrial network tribute special, you are MARKED. Especially if you're a musician.

Sammy Davis Jr., anyone?

Posted by wednesday white at January 15, 2005 08:43 PM
82.43.139.111

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