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January 25, 2005

Atrocity Tourism: Eye Talk.

Eye Talk! Because you're Asian, and you hate every fucking second of it!

A Japanese language instructional video for branded eyelid glue, to eliminate the appearance of those nasty, awful epicanthic folds. Jab yourself dangerously close to vital sensory organs with pink, plastic forks! Learn the secrets of glue distribution and master the quiet, desperate lie that is your glamourous new look! Note the excessive blinking of the Eye Talk model! Mmmm, burn-y.

This is bad. Almost as bad as those South African women buying fifteen tubes of fade cream at once and giving themselves full-body daily treatments. Yep. Almost. But not quite.

Posted by Spike at January 25, 2005 12:49 AM

Comments

This is seriously freaking me out. I keep thinking her eyeball's gonna pop out of her head.

Posted by Kim at January 25, 2005 01:34 AM
68.175.47.56

Yeah, I remember learning about that stuff. Pretty gnarly.

Extra credit - do some research on body odor in Japan.

Posted by Nick Fagerlund at January 25, 2005 02:42 AM
24.118.58.243

Holy Jesus. COULD she even blink?? I have that fold naturally, but I constantly hear horror stories Asians put themselves through to get that damn eyelid. Like, a half dozen people or so had very unnatural surgeries done and you can tell so easily.

Ooooooohmygod when she was shoving that prong in her eye argh argh ><

Oh, and we also want to be whiter. Duh.

Posted by Clio at January 25, 2005 04:11 AM
24.69.255.237

Half dozen or so Asians that I know. Including parents that demand their daughters have them.

Posted by Clio at January 25, 2005 04:12 AM
24.69.255.237

S... Sadako...

Posted by Nina at January 25, 2005 05:43 AM
200.155.193.86

I saw that the other day. My toes are still curling.

Posted by Lisa Jonte at January 25, 2005 08:32 AM
69.107.95.115

What amazes me is the amount of American guys with an Asian fetish. Meanwhile, Asian men apparently have a European-American fetish.

I think the solution may be some kind of mass transfer program for the sad and desperate...

Posted by spookable at January 25, 2005 12:28 PM
68.210.251.74

Clio: Holy shit, I knew about the roundeye surgery, but I had know idea it was that common. Extra creepiness--and yet a notable "duh" factor--at the fact that it's getting pushed on girls in particular.

Nina: I WAS THIKING THE SAME GODDAMNED THING.

Posted by Matt at January 25, 2005 12:31 PM
68.20.17.47

aarrrrrrrrrrgggghhhhhh.

Posted by Dylan at January 25, 2005 12:49 PM
68.60.209.15

I gotta get some Eye Talk. But I figure I'd just look REALLY ALERT all the time.

Posted by Zack at January 25, 2005 01:17 PM
24.131.183.235

*Side effects may include vision impairment or permanent blindness*

Posted by undeadcleopatra at January 25, 2005 03:05 PM
157.160.164.197

Reminds me of when us white people were on that whole "'Look like a Mayan" kick a few years back. ( http://www.halfmoon.org/beauty.html )
My forehead still hurts...

Posted by Tone at January 25, 2005 03:28 PM
68.15.19.133

Gah... I can't watch that again; when she pushes up her eyelid, she reminds me of Sadako. @_@;

Posted by Saiya at May 6, 2005 05:39 PM
68.13.168.22

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