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January 31, 2005

Templar Crapola.

Let's take peek at a few sketches while we wait for Templar to go live, shall we?

For those of you that missed the ten page preview that went up in place of Lucas & Odessa during the holidays, Templar's gonna be one of those comics that's just as much about the setting as about its inhabitants. Templar itself is a fictional city in Arizona, on a river that doesn't exist, and while the world Templar exists in is modern day, it's an "alternate history" sort of modern day.

The best (dorkiest) way I can explain it is that it's a little like that one episode of Sliders where the world is almost exactly the same, except the Golden Gate Bridge is the Azure Gate Bridge, and painted blue. Weird, but not totally foreign. Just not familiar.

Anyway, the fun part of shit like that is all the details. Like these.


Warren Ellis, Quentin Tarantino, and Chris Carter all agree: An alternate reality just isn't sufficiently alternate without its own brand of cigarettes. Templars smoke Buzz Bombs. They're unfiltered, come in chocolate, vanilla bean, citrus, mint, banana, and cognac, and are sold in little, refillable tins. Almost all the smokes sold in Templar are. That never went out of style, there.


As the cut-off text in the corner says, Bolivian food is to Templar what curry is to London. It's just everywhere, and everyone eats it. The Sassy Cavy is a chain. It sells cheese-n-corn wraps, meat patties with boiled eggs in the middle, peanut soup, and, thanks to Templar's weird, overly-specific liquor laws, illegally brewed corn beer.

I had a little too much fun making restaurants for Templar, most of which are shameless wish-fufillment.

The Sassy Cavy's mascot is, sensibly enough, The Sassy Cavy, and one of those creepy food-item-that's-thrilled-to-be-eaten mascots besides. It's a bowl of guinea pig soup. Not a guinea pig; guinea pig soup. It never gets out of the bowl.


A samson... which is a large, finger-to-shoulder piece of plastic armor, and not, despite all appearances, a cybernetic arm... is a required piece of of equipment for Templar's unofficial official sport. Official, becuase everyone plays it or watches it; unofficial, because a while back, in a fit of moralizing, the city banned its play and decreed that players be charged with misdemeanor assault.

It's kinda violent, y'see.

Of course, considering how many teams are made up entirely of sheriff's deputies and highway patrolmen and cops, the law isn't exactly enforced.

The teams have names like Unusually Aggressive Beggar, The Fetus Theives, Souljacker, Inevitable Brady Bunch Incest, and every other vaguely interesting phrase I've ever heard or come up with but couldn't use for anything else. Fun.

Anyway, that's it for now. More later, I guess.

Oh, and be sure to check out the links page, which is once more fit to be seen in public, thanks to del.icio.us and Feedsplitter. Yay!

Posted by Spike at January 31, 2005 07:09 AM

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Comments

 

Damn you, The Inevitable Brady Incest (I feel "Bunch" is unnecessary) was mine! I -will- find a place to use it, too.

I love this Templar detritus so damn much, though... Someday, we must make merchandise that looks like it was actually bought in Templar, Arizona. Buzz Bomb cigarette cases and lighters, Sassy Cavy and Flatworm t-shirts, etc. I like that kind stuff--artifacts from a fictional world--much better than merchandise that just has pictures of the characters on it.

Posted by Matt at January 31, 2005 07:28 AM
68.252.72.68

 

I've said the same thing before, Matt. Which is why the latest Nightmare Before Christmas crap annoys me. It's all just stuff with Jack's mug on it. Good merchandising should look like something FROM the world of the movie (comic, book, series, interactive laser disk, etc.)

Anyway, sounds like Templar will rock, between this and the horribly angry man on the telephone.

Posted by spookable at January 31, 2005 08:28 AM
68.210.251.110

 

1. I remember that episode of Sliders.

2. Wish fulfillment? You actually WANT to eat guinea pig? This is because of that Jeepers thing, isn't it?

3. Is there a team called "Gristle Snowflake"? OhpleaseOhpleaseOhpleaseOhpleeeease!

Posted by Lisa Jonte at January 31, 2005 08:52 AM
69.107.95.115

 

The wish fufillment restaurants are places like Xenophage (self-described "morally indefensible fine dining") and Pangea ("global fusion cuisine." Ostrich tartare with palm wine and shiitake mushrooms, anyone?). I've been meaning to sketch those for a while, too.

And there is only one gristle snowflake, dammit. THAT'S WHY IT'S A GRISTLE SNOWFLAKE. IT IS SPECIAL AND UNIQUE AND PERFECT.

Posted by spike at January 31, 2005 10:13 AM
68.252.72.68

 

Damn you Webcomicsnation, launch soon, pretty please!!!!

Posted by Andre at January 31, 2005 10:29 AM
207.179.161.157

 

It's wonderful you are creating a world that still sells things in tins.

Damn, I miss tins.

Posted by Brenna at January 31, 2005 03:09 PM
24.22.104.181

 

Well -I- want to eat guinea pig.

Posted by Matt at February 1, 2005 12:31 PM
68.252.72.68

 

I see....sort of like the Simpson's Krusty Burger w/ out the annoying clown and grease.

Posted by undeadcleopatra at February 2, 2005 03:22 PM
157.160.164.197

 

I like the world-building! Looking forward to the regular series ("The Sassy Cavy"?!?)

Posted by Brian Moore at February 2, 2005 06:46 PM
66.31.222.142

 

Hola. This stuff rocks. If you ever get the moxy or the money, I'd recommend making your own apparel and tings wit dem logos on it. I'd sure as hell buy some, andethat's like 30 bucks right there, eh? What more incentive does you need?

Posted by Mikhail Lvovsky at February 5, 2005 12:42 AM
68.239.181.214

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