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August 10, 2005

Atrocity Tourism: Is My Child Becoming a Homosexual?

ATTENTION, GOOD, RESPONSIBLE, GOD-FEARING CHRISTIAN PARENTS!!!

As we all know, children are convinced by television and video games to go totally queer-mo. Gayosity is an acquired trait, forced upon sexless, gender-neutral children by swear words and The Lie-beral Agenda.

REMAIN VIGILANT! The HOMOSEXUALISTS will not be easily dissuaded from creeping into your innocent child's bedroom in the dead of night and coughing QUEER GERMS all over him! THEY MAY HAVE INFECTED HIM ALREADY!

Fortunately, Focus on the Family has compiled a helpful list of warning signs to determine your child's level of exposure to gayedness. EDUCATE YOURSELF! Enact preventative measures! And if the queerdom persists, REEDUCATE. We here at Focus on the Family recommend Exodus International, the largest, most successful homosexual rehabilitation organization founded by two guys who have since renounced it and moved in together in operation today!

And once you've sufficiently slapped heterosexuality into your child, make sure to do your part to stop the homosexual campaign against children.

(Cuz, y'know, gays aren't pedophiles. We aren't saying that. Except... dude, they so totally are. I swear.)

Coming soon: how to tell if your daughter is becoming a LESBIAN. Currently relegated to the back burner, though, because foxy lesbians making out is, like, so hot. But dudes fucking, man... that's just gross. >:(

Posted by Spike at August 10, 2005 05:53 PM

Comments

oh no! they've infiltrated the girl scouts?! damn them and their delicious gay cookies!

Posted by meredith at August 10, 2005 07:36 PM
141.153.22.60

man what are you smokin'... gay dudes getting it on are hot.

DON'T LOOK AT ME THAT WAY.

Posted by Jenn at August 10, 2005 11:55 PM
69.4.137.173

You forgot the best part:

"... the boy's father has to do his part. He needs to mirror and affirm his son's maleness. He can play rough-and-tumble games with his son ... He can even take his son with him into the shower, where the boy cannot help but notice that Dad has a penis, just like his, only bigger."

That's right, nothing will force your son back on to the path of straightness more effectively then waving a big cock in his face.

http://www.livejournal.com/users/_eric_m_/227749.html

Posted by Eric M at August 11, 2005 10:56 AM
67.38.27.192

[Dr. James Dobson reports: “There is also the vigorous effort by gays to infiltrate the Boy Scouts in the same way lesbians have done so successfully in the Girl Scouts, where 33 percent of their staff is said to be lesbian.”]

Dr. Dobson's a bit slow on the uptake, as usual. I mean, didn't we just get done mourning the lot that got electrocuted (godly wrath?) before they could lay their dirty paws on nubile boyflesh?

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