« Holy Hell. Who's linking me?! | Main | Illustration Friday: Reflection. »

August 18, 2005

You know there's a new Templar, Arizona page up, right?

You know what I hate in fiction? Precocious kids. Kids who talk and think exactly like scaled-down adults. They're everywhere, and I don't think that's it's just because they're cute. I think it's because realistic little kid dialogue is a pain in the ass.

It's hard to rustle up a synthetic version of the weird grammatical missteps your average four or five-year-old is capable of. But Jesus, people should at least try. Does every fictional little kid on the planet need to be a smirking, supernaturally witty little smart-ass? Maybe it's just me, but I can't imagine anything more off-putting. It's never made me like a character at all. And nothing in the world screams FAKE like a Kindergartener zinging a 20-something.

...Yeah. Anyway. New page is here. Have fun.

Posted by Spike at August 18, 2005 07:16 AM

Comments

I couldn't even imagine how to replicate the nonsense syllable chanting/babble that toddlers make.

You seem to have it down though, kids sort of talk like self-important mentally deficients, in a way.

Posted by Brenna at August 18, 2005 02:25 PM
24.21.39.76

It annoys me more when it's highschoolers talking like professors. But yeah, little kids have a weird language all their own, and most writers are too lazy to deal with it. To be fair though, it can also be annoying as hell to read kid-speak, particularly when it's done badly, so maybe those who suck at it shouldn't try anyway; at least their work will be comprehensible.

Posted by Amy at August 18, 2005 03:26 PM
209.183.9.250

Talk about weird psychic stuff. I was posting about childhood play vs. roleplaying, just before coming here.

But one thing I didn't work in about "play" was a take on an adult telling a child to "go out and play" -- as opposed to "the play's the thing"...

Which immediately made me think of the kid marching out to his backyard and addressing the camera:

Now is the winter of our discontent
Made glorious summer by this sun of York;
And all the clouds that lour'd upon our house
In the deep bosom of the ocean buried.
Now are our brows bound with victorious wreaths;
Our bruised arms hung up for monuments;
Our stern alarums chang'd to merry meetings,
Our dreadful marches to delightful measures.
Grim-visag'd war hath smooth'd his wrinkled front;
And now,--instead of mounting barbed steeds
To fright the souls of fearful adversaries,--
He capers nimbly in a lady's chamber
To the lascivious pleasing of a lute.

Posted by Yamara at August 18, 2005 03:47 PM
68.173.2.36

It's equally annoying when people try too hard and make the kids talk like retards. Ever seen Rugrats? Christ. It's cute for two minutes then it just gets really annoying.

Posted by Nina at August 18, 2005 07:53 PM
200.169.132.155

Post a comment