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« Templar: It only gets more inappropriate from here. | Main | FYI. »

March 31, 2007

Templar: I never promised it would stay PG.

I know I've said this before, but... it only gets worse from here. FYI. I know that some of you guys have mentioned that your company's 'net censor-ware blocks Templar at your jobs. Well, next week, I'm gonna EARN that.

I inked and lettered this page while listening to an old Dragnet radio show. I forget the title, but Joe Friday was tracking down pornography peddlers. He was going on about smut and filth and trash and so on, how bad porn was for society and how it had to be kept out of the hands of high school boys at all costs.

And he took two commercial breaks in the half-hour to tell me it was "wise" to smoke Fatima brand cigarettes.

Wonder what people will be laughing at us for in fifty years.

Posted by Spike at March 31, 2007 11:17 PM

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Comments

 

hah. achewood refrence. have him link you and make trillions! even millions!

Posted by peanut at March 31, 2007 11:28 PM
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Scip looks so insane in those last couple panels. Is he hiding something? Hmmmm.

Seriously though, I love Regan. She's an endless source of amusement to me.

Posted by Peach at March 31, 2007 11:59 PM
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Fearmongering newscasts. The "Could your toilet paper be killing your children? Find out at 11" kind of thing. That's what they'll be laughing at in 50 years.

On a comic oriented note, I'm betting there's an inflatable sex doll in that box.

Posted by stacey at April 1, 2007 12:05 AM
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Not an Achewood reference! Onstad an' me are referencing the same incredibly bizarre, very much real woman. Google "Knockers the Clown." She also goes by "Ducky Dolittle," but she only cake-sits as Knockers.

Posted by spike at April 1, 2007 12:17 AM
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illuminating. I signed up for her sex advice newsletter just now. There this one pic of her eating a bushel of bananas...I instantly thought of a bushel of penises. Isn't that hilarious. Penis Bushels. Like off of a dick shrub. or cock tree. ha. sorry.

Posted by peanut at April 1, 2007 12:24 AM
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I'm kinda scared to find out what's Ben's actual fetish is.

Posted by Alan Tyson at April 1, 2007 12:32 AM
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Skip's thoughts on sex are on the page for January 2nd.

I secretly love it when Ben says 'okay' in lower-case, and this one is rather brilliant. If I were more compulsive, I'd go back and count.

Posted by Fishy at April 1, 2007 01:23 AM
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ogod, don't tell me that Scip likes *chicken* porn...

D:

Posted by -B- at April 1, 2007 01:26 AM
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I dont think he would talk to the subject of his fetish about his penile disintergration nightmares, if that were indeed the case.

Posted by Vaughn at April 1, 2007 01:32 AM
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Reagan's face in panel 3 is quite possibly the most amusing thing ever. She's just so *enthusiastic* about corrupting Ben.

Posted by CJ at April 1, 2007 02:02 AM
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Oh, my god. The line about being repellent actually made me laugh out loud.

Posted by pretentiousgit at April 1, 2007 08:26 AM
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I am worried to no end about that box.

Posted by Tekkactus at April 1, 2007 01:52 PM
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'Hello Kitty' erotica? Interspecies gangbangs? A movie version of Leonard Cohen's "Beautiful Losers" shot in chiaroscuro would not be out of place in Templar, AZ.

Posted by Anomie at April 1, 2007 03:17 PM
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Oh, no - not the entire series run of The Sweatlodge... you know the one, the show about men seeking their vision quests in full frontal with musical numbers?

Posted by Annechen67 at April 1, 2007 07:23 PM
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I love that last shot of Scip. He's adorable when he's denying something.

Posted by Ali at April 1, 2007 08:19 PM
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i love that pose Regan is making with the DVDs... Keep up the good work spike<3

Posted by chibbi at April 1, 2007 09:42 PM
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Gosh Scip don't you know that nobody'll believe you if you deny it so hard.

Naw the box's prolly furry stuff innit, else she figures an asian fellah'd be into tentacles er something.

Maybe robots, though. Can't never rule out the possibility of machine pornography. You think the regular stuff's cold and mechanical? Hah!

Posted by Uglyhead at April 1, 2007 11:09 PM
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Amputee... fuckspree? :P

Posted by Arvid at April 2, 2007 03:18 AM
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Enough with the teasing already Spike. Bring on the filth!

Posted by Dan at April 2, 2007 08:22 AM
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My fondest hope is for a midget hooker named Esmerelda to join the cast in the next strip.

Though that may be Reagan's box of whorehouse coupons from the pennysaver.

Posted by Cylver at April 2, 2007 10:52 AM
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I'm betting on the normal porn to be in there, judging by the other stuff we've been shown so far there doesn't seem to be much of it kept above the counter

Posted by Neil at April 2, 2007 04:17 PM
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That box is going to contain a completely new and utterly confusing fetish you'll only find in Templar, something King Street residents and Xenophage customers would puke over.

On another note. After this strip I'm officially hot for Reagan. I want her obnoxiously long hair, her giant glasses and earings, and the ass that would make Beyonce look flatchested!

Posted by Chris at April 2, 2007 05:06 PM
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On another note, her face in the second panel is EPIC

Posted by Chris at April 2, 2007 05:07 PM
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Haha. Didn't you just fix one of the strips with Skip's eye all circle-y and crazy like that? Hahaa. Ohwell. I love it when they're like that. It's so cute. : D

Regan is my personal hero.

Posted by Minka at April 2, 2007 09:43 PM
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Nice detail on Reagan's furry / fuzzy sandle tie. Her fashion sense conforms to itself very well.

Posted by Pseudo Sapien at April 2, 2007 11:02 PM
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Good point about Scip's eyes, but I think its circular when theres shock or nervousness involved. Look at the strip before this, last panel on Ben's face.

Posted by Chris at April 2, 2007 11:24 PM
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I keep coming back and reading this comic. Over and over.

It's the glee Reagan brings to the whole thing. That, and her extended pinky as she offers "Just Lyin' There".

Well, and I'm naming my band Amputee Fuckspree now.

Posted by Cordelia at April 6, 2007 09:31 AM
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The best part about that Dragnet episode is that Stephen (the high school kid) was played by Marty Milner, who got the role in exchange for forgiving gambling debt Jack Webb owed him.

OH THE VICE!

Posted by Batfink at April 7, 2007 07:37 PM
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