December 24, 2003
Music Appreciation: Duboce Triangle w/ Orphan G - You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch.
The season's last Christmas song.
Duboce Triangle w/ Orphan G - You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch
The beat/coffee house incarnation, no less.
Got this one from last year's special holiday version of Cover Fight, a division of Song Fight. It won, which is no surprise. It's somewhat truncated, though, and leaves out my favorite lines, like the one about the "three decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich with arsenic sauce." Ah, well. Can't have everything.
I have more holiday songs than this, although this will the be the last of 'em I post for three-hundred and sixty-five days or so. I considered putting up Run DMC's "Christmas in Hollis" or Fuel's cover of "We Three Kings" instead, but I figured we, as a civilization, already owed Dr. Seuss one after running a train on his life's work, Hollywood style. Now a generation of semi-illiterate kids'll probably grow up thinking of the Cat in the Hat as a cheesy Mike Meyers vehicle, instead of a surrealist children's book. Kind of unfortunate.
Anyway, I've got presents to sit and stare at for about half an hour before I get to open them, so I'll leave it at that. Happy holidays.
No lyrics. We all know how it goes.
Oh Yeah, One More Thing...
Spread the word. If you are, or you know, an attractive blind or armless woman between 20 and 40 years old, Mr. Joel-Peter Witkin would like to have a word with you.
Witkin's a photographer. This kind of photographer. Yes, he's for real, and yes, he's serious about that request. Look him up at Amazon. And if you fit the bill, drop him a line, won't you? Maybe I'll get a finder's fee in creepy negatives.
December 23, 2003
Music Appreciation: The Pogues - Fairytale of New York.
Can't believe it's the twenty-third already.
Remember when you were a kid, and you couldn't wait for the holidays to come? When every day after Thanksgiving onwards was indescribable agony? The laboriously prepared wishlists, the onslaught of toy ads, the primetime Charlie Brown special, the whole ritual?
After you turn 21, Christmas is more like being egged. You never see it coming, and it's got you before you ever knew it was there.
Anyway, music time.
The Pogues - Fairytale of New York (AKA: Christmas in the Drunk Tank.)
Because hey, sometimes things don't work out like you planned. Not even on Christmas. Lyrics are under the cut.
I haven't got any more holiday-themed pictures around, so instead, here's a shot Matt took of Chicago's public housing, Cabrini Green, burning.
Again.
That didn't really work out like anybody planned, either.
The Pogues - Fairytale of New York
It was Christmas Eve babe
In the drunk tank
An old man said to me, "Won't see another one."
And then he sang a song
"The Rare Old Mountain Dew"
I turned my face away
And dreamed about you
Got on a lucky one
Came in eighteen to one
I've got a feeling
This year's for me and you
So happy Christmas
I love you baby
I can see a better time
When all our dreams come true
They've got cars big as bars
They've got rivers of gold
But the wind goes right through you
It's no place for the old
When you first took my hand
On a cold Christmas Eve
You promised me
Broadway was waiting for me
You were handsome
You were pretty
Queen of New York City
When the band finished playing
They howled out for more
Sinatra was swinging,
All the drunks they were singing
We kissed on a corner
Then danced through the night
The boys of the NYPD choir
Were singing "Galway Bay"
And the bells were ringing out
For Christmas day
You're a bum
You're a punk
You're an old slut on junk
Lying there almost dead on a drip in that bed
You scumbag, you maggot
You cheap lousy faggot
Happy Christmas your arse
I pray God it's our last
The boys of the NYPD choir
Still singing "Galway Bay"
And the bells are ringing out
For Christmas day
I could have been someone
Well so could anyone
You took my dreams from me
When I first found you
I kept them with me babe
I put them with my own
Can't make it all alone
I've built my dreams around you
The boys of the NYPD choir
Still singing "Galway Bay"
And the bells are ringing out
For Christmas day
December 22, 2003
Music Appreciation: The Vandals - Oi to the World.
No, not No Doubt.
The Vandals. THE VANDALS.
Is that understood? Are we clear on that?
...
Excellent.
Have yourselves a punky little Christmas, folks. As usual, lyrics under the cut. And keep watching the page, I'll be posting more Christmas music, hopefully one new song every day, until The Big Day.
I try to compress all of my Christmas cheer into the actual week leading up to Christmas, instead of letting it fester from Halloween onwards. It's a lot more bearable, that way.
I have it on good authority that the Infamous Jesus Lights are back up in this anonymous dorm room window, this year. The people living directly above them responded by putting up the word "BLACK" in their window. The Jesus Lights stayed off, after that.
Guess they're not Everlast fans.
The Vandals - Oi to the World
Haji was a punk just like any other boy
And he never had no troubles 'til he started up his oi band
Safe in the garage or singing in the tub
But Haji went too far when he plugged in at the pub
'Twas a cold Christmas eve when Trevor and the skins
Popped in for a pint and to nick a back of crisps
Trevor liked the music but not the unity
He unwound Haji's turban and he knocked him to his knees
If God came down on Christmas day
I know exactly what he'd say
He'd say "Oi to the punks, and Oi to the skins-
But Oi to the world and everybody wins!"
Haji was a bloody mess, he ran out though the crowd
He said "We'll meet again, we are bloodied yet unbowed!"
Trevor called his bluff and told him where to meet
Christmas day on the roof down 20 Oxford street
If God came down on Christmas day
I know exactly what he'd say
He'd say "Oi to the punks, and Oi to the skins-
But Oi to the world and everybody wins!"
On the roof with the nunchucks Trevor broke a lot of bones
But Haji had a sword like the guy on Indiana Jones
Police sirens wailing, a bloody dying man,
Haji was alone and abandoned his band
Trevor was there fading and still so full of hate
When the skins left him there and went down the fire escape
Then Haji saw the north star shining more then ever
So he made a tourniquet from his turban saving Trevor
They rappelled of the roof with the rest of the turban
And went back to the pub where they bought each other bourbon
If God came down on Christmas day
I know exactly what he'd say
He'd say "Oi to the punks, and Oi to the skins-
But Oi to the world and everybody wins!"
If God came down on Christmas day
I know exactly what he'd say
He'd say "Oi to the punks, and Oi to the skins-
But Oi to the world and everybody wins!"
December 21, 2003
Fun with Narcissism!
So there's this thing going around. Celshaded portraits. Matt and I collaborated on one of me, and it actually came out pretty damn good for a first attempt. I look just about ready to get cast in Waking Life, and spew a load of overhyped, mastubatory, pseudo-philosophical bullshit for two hours and waste everybody's goddamn time to the point where even self-immolating on a streetcorner Thich Quang Duc style isn't enough of a payoff. Not by far.
Yeah.
Anyway, zoom.
Check me out. All Mona Lisa and whatnot. If I'da known this was gonna turn out half decent, I woulda pulled my hair back for the reference photo.
Sorry about the hair, by the way. But celshading the dreads individually probably would've taken a week.
December 19, 2003
Cards are On the Way!
Yup. Don't write askin' for holiday cards, cuz there ain't none. I mailed the last of 'em out this afternoon. Happy Holidays, ya jokers. Hope I got all of yas.
I was feeling a little ashamed about how late I finally got 'em out, but I had to pound massive clumps of envelopes further down the "stamped mail only" slot at the post office to fit my own mail in, so I'm obviously not alone.
The red-blooded Americans on the list may very well get their cards delivered in time, which would rock. Brazillians and Canadians, I was told you should get 'em before New Year's, which is okay by me. Hope everyone's happy.
On a marginally more interesting note, there was a woman crying at the post office because the lines were too long. Seriously crying, I mean scrunchin' up her face and audibly boo-hoo-hoo-ing every time she looked at the queue. And she wasn't mailing anything.
Jeez. And I thought I couldn't handle life.
December 18, 2003
Sam > Pippin > Merry > Gollum > Frodo.
Should you ever require evidence of my criminal stupidity, know this: I showed up to a movie theater at 10:00 on opening night to see the 10:30 showing of The Return of the King. And it never once occurred to me that this might be a problem.
Just got back from the midnight showing. And my opinion hardly matters, really... but I think it's a great movie, best I've seen in ages. And this is coming from a woman who doesn't like high fantasy, doesn't like Tolkien, and can't stand Hobbits. The pre-trilogy depictions of them, anyway.
Still hate elves, though. Fuck elves. Fuck elves right in the eye.
I won't bother actually reviewing it, because we all know what I'll say. But I will make a couple of suggestions: See it in a theater, don't wait for the DVD. It needs to be seen on huge scale to really be appreciated.
And it's nearly three and a half hours long. Take that pee break before the light goes down. Even if you don't think you have to.
December 17, 2003
I Don't Usually Get This Excited About Television...
But YES YES OH GOD YES.
For those of you too lazy to click through: Penn & Teller: Bullshit! has been renewed for a second season by Showtime. Because Showtime kisses open-mouthed with God, and Showtime knows the motherfucking score. Oh, yes. Yes.
Basic premise? People are full of shit. The homeopathic medicine people, the alien abduction people, the organic food people, the creationist people, the feng-shui people, the end-of-the-world people. All of them. Shit. You shouldn't believe them. And Penn & Teller spend an hour each week trying to explain why.
It's not just a show, it's a public service. And it's coming back.
If you've never seen Bullshit!, the entire first season's been immortalized; it's easy to find on the DC hubs and eMule, and there should be plenty of reruns on Showtime right now. Watch it. Trust me, it's like a breath of fresh air in a world where your televison seems determined to convince you that the moon landings were faked, half the US will be underwater by 2050, and religious statuettes regularly bleed the blood of their owners ER UHM I MEAN JESUS.
December 16, 2003
Yet More Lucas and Odessa.
Click the banner, eh? It's a good one, I think. All my pages should go so smoothly.
The holiday cards are off being printed, and thanks to everyone who requested one. I got all your emails, and everybody's gettin' what they ask for. I should start mailing them out before the weekend, and you should each have your very own Krampus before Christmas.
Know why?
Because I care. I care about you.
Or I can at least fake it real good.
December 13, 2003
My Ears are Burning...
My secret, seven-digit, midnight transfer to Shaenon's Swiss bank account must have cleared, because she mentions me in this Comixpedia article as one of her picks for "most interesting webcomic debut" of 2003. I'm sure it'll all be downhill from here, but I think I'll bask while I can. Thanks a lot, Shaenon.
In other news, a quick look at Girlamatic's traffic stats pretty much verifies what total perverts all of you are. Sparkneedle's traffic, especially for a fairly new strip, is unreasonably high, so a lot of you are making it a point to hustle on over every Sunday morning to gawk at Drimmer's thing. I'm mortified by your prurience. Mortified.
...
Don't forget, new SN strip tonight at midnight! Ding ding.
December 11, 2003
WIP: Finished Holiday Card.
Lovely coloring job, as always, by Matt. Not exactly Christmassy colors, but I'll bet you're sick of red and green by now. So everybody wins.
And since there was a little confusion in my inbox, previously: These cards are FREE. You ask for one, you get one. Simple as that.
I'll see what I can do about gettin' 'em printed up this weekend.
December 10, 2003
A Victory Dance is in Order.
Yeah, pretty sure I can recommend MT-Blacklist in an official capacity, now.
Dig this windowlicker, he didn't even make it past the catch-all. Never even came down to domains. He sucked that bad. And he tried twice. Like that would help or sumthin'.
MY BLOG IS NOT A TOILET, SIR. SO SORRY TO INCONVENIENCE YOU IN YOUR QUEST TO BE AS USELESS AND AGGRAVATING AS POSSIBLE.
December 09, 2003
New Lucas and Odessa!
Wow! Hey! I actually accomplished something this week, how about that? And I'll bet this installment makes everyone fucking hate Odessa more than they already do! NEAT! Click the banner!
Also, wondering who I have to shiv in the ribs to get an MP3 of the opening theme to Rumiko Takahashi Theater. GET WITH THE PROGRAM, PEOPLE. I may be freakishly lame, but I know there are enough of you out there just as bad to make this an unforgivable lapse.
My cold's essentially over, though, so I can finally get back on schedule with the sketches, comics, and so on. Also, I can actually answer email. So don't form the angry lynch mob yet. Acknowledgement is on the way.
While you wait, how about reading a comic strip from the 1930s where Mickey Mouse attempts suicide? He wasn't always a terminally dull corporate mascot, after all.
December 07, 2003
The Cold That Would Not Die.
Still sick, still in no mood to update extensively. But hey, there's a new Sparkneedle up today. I know you guys like that strip, right? Click the banner.
I've gotten remarkably little done this week other than whine and take Advil. I hate cold season, I always get hit so damned hard.
December 03, 2003
WIP: Holiday Card.
Finished the inks to this a couple nights ago. It's now in the hands of Matt, my eminently capable colorist. Yeah, I'm behind schedule, but that's nuthin' new.
For everybody late to the party, this here's Krampus. He's Austrian, and he pops up every year around the 24th of December or so to ravish the ladies and beat the crap out of the kids. And no, I didn't make him up just so I'd have an excuse to put a demon on my holiday cards. (Although really, I was already looking for a justification when I found out about him. Neat how that works, huh?) The Rotten Library's got more to say about him here.
If you want a card when all's said and done, write me and let me know. I'm passin' these things out like candy, and the more, the better.
December 02, 2003
More Housekeeping.
Feeling a little under the weather right now, so I haven't got much to say. Just tying up some loose ends.
I'm lagging on email, big time. I know that. I'll catch up in a day or two, so don't think I've forgotten about any of you.
Once again, if you've ordered anything from me (comics, shirts, etc.) and haven't gotten it, email me. My spamkiller was a little overeager, I think some of your orders might have gotten erased.
And, of course, it's Tuesday. And that means there's a new Lucas and Odessa up. I Iron Man'ed my way through this week's update despite the fever, and I'm dislocating a shoulder over here patting myself on the back about it. Click the banner! Read! Validate me!
Oh, and one last thing; Should I get a forum going? Opinions, plz.