Spike's Cartoons and Whinging

Templar: Still gettin' used to this "actual concrete update days" thing.

Depending on which side you're on, this is either going to be a lot of fun or just about the worst thing ever.

Augh. Updatin' Mondays is rough, it doesn't give me much of a weekend. I'll get used to it, though.

But on the bright side: Tip jar sez we've gotta THREE PAGE WEEK! Hooray for that, huh? I'll hafta skip out on this year's Halloween pin-up, but something tells me you guys would prefer a new page of comics, anyway.

More soon!

...

By the way, this is sort of driving me crazy, so... does anyone know the name of a eurocomics artist who's currently planning or doing a series about Australopithecines? I could swear I saw it in the shop the other day, but I can't recall the author or title. All I remember is a pretty graphic birth scene.

Help.

Everybody's doing it: Six Word Sci-Fi Stories.

That sound is not the thunder.

Eternity to regret the immortality nanites.

Opposed the research? Treatment access DENIED.

Templar: One page from living up to the chapter title.

Yeah, it's late. Sorry.

Templar: Drumroll, please.

Numbers is a terrible judge of character.

This will, hopefully, be the last of my infamous "11:59" updates for a while, now that Templar's going to be test-running actual solid update days (Monday and Friday) and I have such a huge jump on the next page.

But if I can manage what I have planned, I'll probably need as many days head-start as I can get.

Why not throw a little something in the tip jar, folks? The next few pages are gonna be doozies. In italics, even.

Templar, Arizona: What? It's a Biblical name.

You didn't bat an eye at the guy named Benjamin, dang it.

New page up, with a bit of news.

To better fit its new schedule on Serializer, Templar, Arizona will now be getting specific update days: Mondays and Fridays.

If the tip jar floweth over and it's a three-page week, the comic will go Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.

So discipline is now the word of the day. Let's see how long until I just run totally off the rails.

On the to-do list: Get some script and reference art to the new Blikada artist, update the links page and fan art, be better about answering blog comments, and set up everything for the Serializer re-launch so stuff gets updating properly.

But first, some quality goofing off.

Templar: New Page!

I like to think that freshly glazed look in her eyes would be just at home in a Bible Belt tent revival. Really, I do.

More this weekend. I really do hafta quit updating so late in the week on you guys.

I should go three days a week permanently. But then I'd probably die.

Because I didn't learn my lesson about overloading myself last time.

With Halloween fast-approaching, it's really only appropriate that one of my old comics is scheduled to be brought back from the grave.

I've found an artist, I'm piecing together a script, and Serializer's gonna feature it, along with a feed of Templar, Arizona, like the one going on Beep! for the Chicago Daily Herald.

Which comic?

Well...

Yeah. Never say die.

Templar: A Page in Record Time.

Ever been so tired you're slightly nauseous?

...

Yeah, I know. Whine whine whine.

New page is here. Done in about 22 hours.

G'nite.

Templar: "It has a philosophy..."

"...and that is what makes it dangerous."

Showing my age with that one, aren't I? Bleh.

Yes, this is late. But... crowd scenes. Endless crowd scenes. SURELY YOU UNDERSTAND.

Third page is still going up on Saturday. BECAUSE SLEEP IS FOR LOSERS, AM I RIGHT?

IT IS SNOWING.

WHY.

KNOCK IT OFF, CHICAGO. YOU AND THAT GOD DAMNED LAKE, I SWEAR TO GOD.

...

And hey, while you're reading... if I wanted to, say, hire a comic artist to draw a series I scripted, where would I look? I have no idea how to go about this, I'm used to doing everything myself.

And yes, this theoretical artist would be paid.

Templar: Enter Reclamation.

In case you've yet to have your fill of silly invented subcultures. I'll bet you can't guess their emblem. Betcha betcha betcha.

Y'know, nothing says "youthful socialist ideologue" quite like sensible pigtails and a frown. Really. Except maybe a jillion dead sparrows and bayonetting people to death for wearing eyeglasses.

More would go here, but this page took longer that usual and I haven't slept. So I'll leave it at this: I'm working at a slightly larger scale, now. 11" x 14", from 9" x 12". I think there's a noticeable difference in the amount of detail on the page, and it should make clean-up time shorter. (Weird how that works.) The only downside is these pages probably won't travel as well. But I hardly ever go out anyway, so hey, who cares?

...

:(

Templar: The Semantics of Privilege.

A very tiresome business.

It's late, but it's here. And remember, it doesn't count! Next week will have three pages, too. Because hey, why not?

Three new pages of... oh, never mind. Nothing. You'll see.

By the way, you guys know Sparkneedle is still updating every weekday, right? There was a lull there, but the last few panels are finally being posted. Go be confused!

I have GOTTA finish that thing.

Templar: Ah, the memories.

I grew up in Potomac, Maryland. The Wikipedia article covers pretty much all you need to know about the place.

My family lived pretty well. We were also, and continue to be, black.

Now, we weren't alone in this collection of circumstances. There were plenty of families in Potomac that fit the same profile, and some had sons. And those sons, around high school age? They did a really interesting thing.

They suddenly transformed into the phoniest motherfuckers that ever walked the Earth.

The closest I can come to describing them is "black wiggers." Guys who decided they didn't fit the profile, and that had to be fixed.

Have you ever been around two to twelve deeply self-conscious and insecure teenage boys from six figure income homes, faking ghetto accents, lying about where they were born, and pretending to strongly identify with N.W.A. lyrics? I have. Lots of fun. Except not.

...

Not that this little story has anything to do with today's update, of course.

Back to work. More tomorrow.

The Deal.

Okay, so, Templar's tip jar has rolled over again. (Thank you!)

But!

It's not going to count for this week.

I promised you guys a gratis three-page week, and I still intend to deliver. So this week, Templar will update three times, and NEXT week, it'll update three times as well.

'Zat cool?

Templar: Rhymes with Witch.

Why do these two even stay friends? Oh, wait, they're not really friends. We've talked about this.

Believe it or not, you're not supposed to hate these two. They're just giving everyone a really, really lousy first impression. Gimme a couple more pages, you'll see what I mean.

Jeez. All the phone conversations in this comic are really uncomfortable and hostile, aren't they.

Back to work...

Pssst.

After spending the evening answering reader mail and generally getting a big fat swelled head, I've decided that Templar's gonna update three times this week whether the tip jar turns over or not.

Don't tell anyone, though. It's a surprise.

Shhh.

Also, I'm trying to figure out if I should go see Leslie and the LY's this Halloween at the Funky Buddha. I have just as much insincere appreciation for gem sweaters as the next smirking hipster, but this might be my personal LD50 for irony.