Sweet mother of Jesus and I thought the movies Hollywood actually wound up making were bad.
Query Letters I Love is a blog maintained by an anonymous grunt somewhere in Tinseltown, and s/he uses it to post the worst film proposals they can find. And god damn, do they get bad.
Who's up for a movie about a Native American shaman and his spirit animal army installing a puppet president? No? Can I interest you in a deformed gypsy boy, then? Howabout A game of tag... WHERE THE LOSER BLOWS UP AT 100 MILES PER HOUR!! OH NO, WHO WILL SAVE THE MAYOR'S DAUGHTER??
I want Hollywood to make -all- these movies. ALL OF THEM.
Why can't they just apply to Keenspace or Drunk Duck like everyone else?
Oh Mah Effing Gawd.
I totally had that same idea about the gypsy boy, but this was back in 1962 when I did an original sketch of a tambourine and Nintendo/Hollywood totally stole it and now they won't even make my movie so I can SUE!
Life is so unfair!
Saw a few examples from the site in a copy of Harpers. Oddly enough, it bolsters my faith in humanity a bit. Why? Because it proves that Hollywood has at least SOME taste left.
I sent this link to a friend of mine who made an interesting observation:
Replace any references to the main protagonist with "Will Smith" and notice how more plausible the pitch becomes.