New page, new sketch, and a little making-of behind-the-scenes type nonsense, linked beneath today's update. You know where to go.
June 2005 Archives
BEING RIGHT IS SORT OF AWESOME.
Terry McMillan -- whose celebrated romance and subsequent marriage to a man 23 years her junior became the subject of her fictionalized best-seller "How Stella Got Her Groove Back" --actually got her groove back with a man who now says he's gay.
The story is spilling out in made-for-Hollywood detail in Contra Costa County Superior Court, where McMillan has filed for divorce from her Jamaican- born husband of six years, Jonathan Plummer.
McMillan, 53, said in court documents that the marriage was based on a "fraud'' because Plummer lied about his sexual orientation -- and married her only to gain U.S. citizenship.
AHAHAHAHAHA DUH.
For the record, my mother is Jamaican, and I've been to the island myself about a dozen times. When we first heard about the whole "How Stella Got Her Groove Back" story, we laughed.
See, in Jamaica, the tourist beaches are crawling with exceptionally handsome and charming Jamaican men. CRAWLING. Really. Throw a rock, you'll hit an Adonis. And they all want green cards more than they want to breathe. They'll dive like bomber planes onto anything with an American accent. They're not picky, because they don't plan on staying.
But they'll tell you anything, if they think it'll get them stateside. And it works.
Plummer probably only hung around for six years because he landed a millionaire. Anything less and he would've been gone in two.
So my husband and my friend Gerry snuck into a theatre and saw this movie. They saw part of this movie, and then they tried to describe it to me.
They said the movie was about kids in LA getting dressed up in clown make-up and facepaint and there was some gospel music playing and they all danced to it. As clowns. Dressed up as clowns.
I was sort of hoping they were just kind of messing with me or they got something wrong or it was a mockumentary, but no. It's real. It's called RIZE. And I must be getting old, because this is kind of stupid.
There's a lot of talk about how it's not mainstream, which I guess is good, because mainstream hip-hop/rap sort of makes me want to kill myself. But there's a lot of talk about how original it is, too. Which it's not. Because this was lame back when Insane Clown Posse tried it, and it's still lame now. But at least I haven't heard anyone in RIZE try to sing. Yet.
I don't know. I kind of have that feeling people must have gotten back in the 60s when the toilet tissue companies started trying to sell everyone paper clothes. It's like... sure, The Beatles are wearing orange paper sportscoats, that's obvious. But you're never going to make this cool. Ever. I refuse to let that happen.
The link has a trailer. Please watch it and tell me if I'm being cranky. I really just don't even know anymore.
MEME MEME MEME MEME.
Templar, Arizona updated yet again! My goodness, it's like clockwork, isn't it?
I've finally got that site's link page (sort of) up, too, and it's quite a show. Make sure to take a look.
NEW CLUTCH ALBUM RELEASES TODAY.
Last one to buy it's mom is a slut.
If you're like me, though, and y'can't wait until tomorrow to pick it up, this cute little Flash app lets you preview three of the songs. My personal favorite so far? "Mice and Gods." And that's not just because I heard them sneak-preview it on me last November, the last time I saw them live.
You know it's classic Clutch, because my husband and I just spent a few minutes debating what it might mean. Can't wait to get ahold of those liner notes.
I love you, Elephant Riders. And I will make everyone else love you. MAKE THEM.
Oh Jesus Christ would you look at that.
When he was thirteen years old, a western diamondback rattlesnake bit Justin Schwartz on the left hand.
It sucked.
He took pictures, though. Or rather, someone took pictures for him; all the good ones must have been snapped while he was unconscious. Surgeons usually try to knock you out before they peel you from palm to armpit. Or so I'd hope.
Don't click this link if you're not into massive, open wounds being stitched together with rubber bands, necrotizing flesh, and arms so expertly flayed that the subject could double for a Burne Hogarth sketch. You've been warned.
I'm not gonna stop talking about it, you know.
Three pages in and somebody's already naked. This does not bode well.
And awesome timing, too, since I haven't updated the damn thing in two weeks! YAAAY!!!
It's long, really long. It's spot-on, lets me know the big stupid plot is transferring the gap between my brain and the page fairly coherently. And it damn near glows.
I peed a little.
My only complaint is that the reviewer, the extremely rad Shaenon Garrity, misspelled my last name, although not in an entirely uncommon way. I'm pretty sure a few Trotman headstones I've seen in Alabama are labeled "Troutman," and at least one building out there is dedicated to the memory of a "Trottman." My last name sucks.
But who cares? HOLY SHIT WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY. Good reviews just open the sky right up.
I'ma gonna bookmark this page in the EGOMANIACAL DELUSIONS folder.
I AM A WOLF WITH MAGICAL POWERS AND A SWORD THAT IS A VAMPIRE AND THE DAUGHTER OF GOD.
Yeah.
So I'm guessing Todd from thekwoon.com digs on convention season. That's when he hauls out his palmcorder, walks up to random cosplayers at anime conventions, and asks who they're supposed to be. The results are usually best when they're incredibly eager to tell him, but utterly incapable of coherency.
I thought I knew what sympathetic humiliation was. I thought I was beyond it. I was wrong.
Todd also catches up with some guy who claims to have invented one of the most obnoxious things about anime cons, sign-carrying. It's hard to explain why parading around a dealer's room with scraps of posterboard is so irritating, though. That is, until you realize he'd be one of about two hundred people doing it all at once, most of which are either looking for freebies or petitioning for public gropage.
He's the third guy I've seen claim the credit for this. God knows why. I'd admit to ritualized child cannibalism before I'd claim the distinction of being con whoredom's Patient Zero.
"Nine: A Letter from Mom" is up in the Misc. section, and there's more to come, probably tomorrow. I've got a lot of ground to make up, and a new family or three to introduce, soon. Lots has been going on in my stupid little game, most of it terribly shameful.
Cuz dat's how I like it, baybeh.
In case you folks have forgotten about Templar, Arizona: it updates Thursdays, and that's today. There's a new page up, and a couple of sketches that weren't there last week have been trickling in over the past few days. Go read!
Also worth mentioning are the other Modern Tales cartoonists getting their WCN sites together as we speak: Lisa Jonte's Coreopsis, André Richard's Chateau Wonderful, Edward J. Grug III's journal comic, If Nobody Likes Me, Why Am I So Popular?, Lea Hernandez's still-gestating venture, and of course, Reinder Dijkhuis's Chronicles of the Witch Queen.
World's busiest little beta-testers, that's us.
Long story short? A sixteen-year-old blogger from Tennessee came out to his parents recently, and now they're sending him to a summer camp designed to flip his straight switch. He's posted the rules he'll have to adhere to in his journal. Some of my favorites:
No sexual/emotional misconduct. Any temptations, fantasies, or dreams are to be presented to one¹s staff worker only.
SHIT SHIT COUNSELOR DAN I SOMETIMES LIE IN BED AND THINK ABOUT JUDE LAW SHIRTLESS WITH A THROBBING TEN-INCH COCKSTAND HOSING ME DOWN WITH JETS OF GOAT BUTTER IN A FIRE ISLAND HOT TUB AND I THINK I'LL TELL YOU BECAUSE IT'S NOT AT ALL HUMILIATING AND TRAUMATIZING TO DO SO
Sexual misconduct includes viewing pornography, visiting an adult bookstore, emotional dependency, voyeurism, stalking, masturbation, mutual masturbation, or any form of genital or sexual contact with another person.
Didja catch that? "Emotional dependency." YOU'RE A PERVERT BECAUSE YOU HAVE FRIENDS. YOU DON'T NEED ANYONE BUT CHRIST, FAIRY BOY.
Be mindful of the types of humor and communication used around one another. Jesting about bodily functions, discussing gender-specific issues when not in rap sessions (at the LIA office), and other conversation which could potentially be inappropriate to the opposite sex should be avoided.
Queef jokes are an abomination unto The Lord. :(
Anyway, read up. Lotsa laffs, until you realize this poor kid is gonna have to actually follow these rules this summer.
Holy crap.
I already knew about Nina Paley. I knew about her affiliation with the Church of Euthanasia and her newspaper strip, Nina's Adventures, and all that already made her cool in my book. But I had no idea she'd done anything like this.
The Sitayana is the Hindu religious epic, The Ramayana, retold from the perspective of Sita, the wife of the god Rama. Via antique blues music.
And wow. Just wow. Not only is it beautiful, but it works. It's just utterly remarkable.
A little tiny bit of knowledge of The Ramayana isn't necessary to enjoy it, because Nina makes sure to clue everyone in at the beginning. But knowing the basics of Hindu mythology just makes it better. Especially the closing credits.
Wow, again.
Shiva can dance the destruction of my world any time.
My Webcomics Nation site is finally ready to go, which means I've begun posting pages of Templar, Arizona, a comic I've been meaning to do for years. You can get at it here. I've also started cobbling together some auxiliary stuff, so there's a sketchbook full of related doodles to stare at.
We can all thank Joey Manley for getting this show on the road, single-handedly. He's put a lot of work into WCN, and it really shows.
And I really wanna encourage everybody to take a look at the new comic. Templar will update weekly, and it currently has a few months of backlog already uploaded and scheduled, so there won't be much in the way of late strips, at least until mid-September. That means that it's exempt from the Author's Note I recently added to the bottom of Lucas & Odessa and Sparkneedle, so hooray for that.
Also, it's free. I know you guys like that.
So g'wan already. Get reading.
I've really gotta stop being surprised every time I find a cartoon online that's ten times funnier than anything I've ever seen on television.
I am in love with Dead Monkey Comics. You should be, too. Check out EMAIL!!, and then maybe pester Tim to make more cartoons. Tell him we'll all chip in to buy him a new Sharpie, if that's what it takes.
Tomorrow: Templar.
Really.
