Atrocity Tourism: May 2004 Archives

Attention, shrewish gossips: You've found The Promised Land. Go easy on 'er, though; Geocities sites don't tolerate too much traffic.

Culled from alt.gossip.celebrities and gossiplist.com, "The A List" is a huge, alphabetical listing of hundreds of rumors, some I'm perfectly willing to believe ("Beatty, Warren. Slut supreme; the only woman he hasn't slept with is me."), some that seem more than a little out there ("Cosby, Bill. Rumored to touch children's private parts off the set of his shows."), and some that just make flowers bloom, birds sing, and set the world to rights again ("Chow Yun Fat. The Coolest Man Alive. Penn & Teller. Both friendly, very cool.").

One of the funniest things about this site is that, although the tips are anonymous, you can tell exactly who's writing the author with gossip. An unusual number of subjects are decried as "bad tippers" or "rude to their staff." Others are credited as "unpleasent to the people who drive them." Still more are mocked as "under-endowed." Hollywood starfuckers, chauffers, food service lackeys and bellboys, rise and hold your heads high. Your revenge is at hand.

Man tries to sell Apple G4 Powerbook on eBay.

Man recieves brutally obvious email from scammer, attempting to weasel him out of the Powerbook via a fake escrow site.

Man, instead of ignoring scammer, decides to play a little game.

Scammer pays three-hundred and forty GBP in fees and duties to receive... well, see for yourself.

Download the PDF narration of the deed and brew yourself some tea. It's gonna be a while, but I promise, it's worth every minute.

There is a old, pale, extremely naked man across the street on the eighth floor of the local hotel. His curtains are wide open, and he's sprawled across his rented bed like some sort of horrifying, wrinkled odalisque.

He gets up occasionally and repositions himself to give my apartment building a better view. I'm eighty-three percent sure he's doing it on purpose.

Now accepting suggestions for amusing things to write on a sign and tape to the window.

EDIT: OH LOOK THE FILTHY OLD JACKAL SEEMS TO BE SLAPPING HIS MEAT AND TWO VEG ABOUT.

You want me to see you? Fine. I see you.

We all see you. (NWS)