Atrocity Tourism: December 2005 Archives

The GODDESS KRING is going to be on SCANTV tonight at 10:30, PST, and for the first time, I GET TO WATCH HER. Internet, I LOVE you!

Finally, all that wacky Kring-ian self-absorption in one single half-hour push, instead of bits and pieces where I can grab 'em. Not that there aren't plenty of those. But hey, no more of the good word second hand, goddamn it. I'm goin' straight to the source. And I ain't talkin' about her livejournal.

Blah blah Tori Amos blah blah endless endless photos of me blah blah Is my nudity distracting you from my terrible dancing blah blah blah I WAS A RENEGADE SAMURAI IN A PAST LIFE blah.

I can't WAIT. Let's see if I can resist shooting myself fifteen minutes in!

Imagine what a nice place the world would be if Christians stopped believing in Hell.

See, the theory goes like this:

You're already "saved." Y'know, by Jesus. That sacrifice of his applies to everyone: Screechy Pentacostals, daredevil snakehanders, Buddhist goatherds, Indian Hindus, Osama bin Laden, smart-ass atheist cartoonists, everyone.

Hell, the theory continues, is something you're already experiencing here on Earth, as anyone who's ever accidentally torn off a toenail or had a root canal could tell you. And upon death, everyone goes to Heaven. Everyone. Including all the people who never went to church in their lives, or went to the wrong church, or were too busy having sloppy, furious gay sex on a bed made entirely out of Bibles to go to church. Because God isn't a monster.

Crazy, huh?

Funny what happens when you take what amounts to Christianity's Big Stick out of its arsenal, though. I guess some people just don't like the idea that everything they disapprove of isn't in for a hard one upside the head after we all lose our 21 grams.

Case in point.

This American Life, the best radio show ever, recently ran an hour-long special concerning what happened when a reverend in Oklahoma stopped believing in Hell. SPOILER: Nothing very good.

It's an interesting listen. Give it a try. And I'll see you in HEAVEN, bitches.