Brain Farts: June 2004 Archives

Neil, my surviving rat, is quite old and frail. He spent most of his life with Beavis, but Beavis has been dead for almost two months, now. (If you visit this page with any regularity, you probably already know what I'm doing to him.) Nothing's more depressing than spending your twilight years alone. In a cage. On a coffee table. So I went out today, and I got Neil some friends.

Here they are.

I set the closed carrier in the center of the cage to let them all get used to each other's smells, first. Also, to keep Neil from eating his new playmates, which I sincerely believed he was totally capable of. When I opened the carrier door, Neil climbed in and fell asleep on top of them. I hope that's a good sign.

This rat was extremely energetic on the trip home. Crawling and jumping around the carrier, pawing through the bedding, nibbling on the complimentary dog biscuits I swiped at the pet store checkout line. I think I'll call him Busy.

This rat fell asleep immediately, and stayed asleep for the entire train ride. He seems a bit a lazy, more than a bit slow, and completely devoid of any sense of adventure or experimentation. Also, he steals.

His name is Fanfic.

Yeah, so I've got a mailing list, now. It's kind of a custom job, since Yahoo Groups annoy me with the ads and the spam and everything. I'm still working the bugs out, so watch your step and all that.

Stuff I'll be posting to the list: The mandatory "cool links." Works-in-progress. Giveaways of free stuff. Plugs. Discussions concerning anything you guys might want to talk about. Blatant, borderline-cheating attempts to get us all free ice cream. (No, really.)

Stuff I WON'T be posting to the list: Boring crap. Pointless daily updates that don't really go anywhere, but that I expect you to read anyway. Poetry. Personal minutae. Lavish descriptions of what I had for breakfast. Pictures of myself on the toilet.

You get the idea. In short: I'll try to amuse you, not annoy you.

Click the link to subscribe. I stuck a permanent link in the nav bar on the left, too.

It'll be keen. Promise.

Remember those pricey Winsor & Newton paintbrushes that were stolen from me on the 23rd?

Matt nearly tripped over 'em on his way out the door this afternoon.

Someone left them on the ground just outside the apartment.

It wasn't the mail carrier; the mail carrier knocks. It also wasn't the building handyman. He knocks, too. This was done silently.

The box wasn't opened.

So... someone randomly snatched up the box from the mailroom, held it for three days without taking a peek inside, and then dropped it outside my door and snuck away. I think.

Now I REALLY don't know what the hell's going on.

But hey, no complaints here.

Had a Fed-Ex package stolen out of the mailroom, today.

I know it was there, because I got a call from the mail carrier, asking if I wanted her to bring it up to my apartment, or just leave it by the boxes. As usual, and as not to be a bother, I said leave it. I'd come get it.

It's gone now.

$50.00 worth of Winsor & Newton Series 7 watercolor paintbrushes. Poof.

I will be a bother from now on.

Fuck.

Oh yeah, I was gonna post here, wasn't I? Sorry, I've been busy. I've got a couple photos to show off, though.

The first is a page from a children's picture book version of King Kong. We saw it at the gigantic, awesome book fair that they hold right on our doorstep for two days every year, and this abominable sun glare I caught in my photo makes me wish I went and bought the book. Just for this page. I'm that juvenile.

The second photo is similarly primate-related, but it's from our previously-mentioned trip to the zoo. We saw MENNONITES IN THE MONKEY HOUSE. Or Amish. I'm not sure how to tell them apart.

I tried to photograph them secretly, but it looks like the dude caught me. It doesn't matter, though, because now their souls are mine.

The rat mummificiation stuff's down for now, kids. I just got the yellow flag from my host, they're starting to charge by the megabyte.

I knew Beavis was popular, but GOD DAMN.

Thanks to everyone who linked it, and thanks to everyone who emailed, but I can't take this kind of traffic. My name is not Lowtax.

Wanna see the rat guts again? Help me pay for the site. Buy a commission. Kthnx.

I seem to have a triffid.

My secret, shameful inner hippie grew an herb garden (lol 420 lol) on the windowsill when no one was looking. It was supposed to be mint, parsley, oregano, and thyme. It turned out to be mint, parsley, oregano, thyme, and Intrusive Alien Being.

This thing sprouted in the oregano pot a few weeks ago. Just for the hell of it, I transplanted it into a paper cup instead of chopping it into compost. It outgrew that, so I got it a planter. It's outgrowing that, too.

What the hell is this thing? Anybody know?

Given its rate of growth, I'm assuming it's a weed of some sort, but a tentative identification as a sunflower has kept it clear of the trash chute for over a month.