Step right this way, my dears... You found your way through the crypts without too much trouble, I trust? Excellent, excellent. I'm so pleased Rufus didn't see you at the door. Most of the month he's a perfect darling, but you see... full moons excite that boy so.
This way, please. Mind the gravewax.
Do you like my study? This is where I keep the most terrible curiousities I've picked up in my years of travel. Do any of you have pre-existing heart conditions? I hope not. I really, really hope not.
My! The new Alvin and the Chipmunks live-action/CG hybrid movie is really rattling its cage, today! Isn't it unspeakably grotesque? It's mother's favorite, next to the planned live-action remake of Fantastic Planet. They like to hiss at one another from across the room. Tell me that's not adorable.
No one will claw at the McDonald's I Am Asian campaign, though. I suspect it's just too horrible.
Oh dear. Don't mind the noise, it's probably Blacktown.Net going on about evil feminist witchcraft, again. He tries to establish a church in his litterboxes twice every Tuesday. Throws the most awful tantrums when I change the pans.
Perhaps I should move his terrarium farther away from Ted Jesus Christ God.
What, leaving so soon? Ah, well. The back door's this way, past the Otakukin. Ignore the braying, they'll say anything for attention.
Yes, I know, it's the long way out. But it's bad for my image if anyone sees you leaving alive. You understand.
Are you certain I can't interest you in an electoral vote prediction before you go? Fifty percent chance it will terrify you, guaranteed.
