Two new comic banners, a new camshot, and a revamped bio page.
Jesus, look at all those guys squashed together up there. Is anyone else humming the Brady Bunch theme?
Brain Farts: January 2005 Archives
I'll be cutting Dashboard Confessional lyrics into my forearms and upping the contrast on wistful webcam self-portraits until my nostrils disappear into the glare of my forehead any day now.
So yes, I now have a Livejournal. A real one, not my nifty syndication account Dylan got me so LJ-ers can read my blog on their friends pages. All the bleach and steel wool in the world cannot wash away my shame, but at least now I can read Friends Only posts and own my comments.
It won't update, though. So you'll still have to come here. WHERE I CAN SEE YOU, PRECIOUS.
If you'd like for me to violate your privacy on a serial basis, friend me, add me, do whatever it is you crazy kids do. There's fun to be had, I'm sure.
NO WADING IN THE DEAD POOL YOU GUYS OK
Sure Things:
- Pope John Paul II. C'mon.
- Rosa Parks. C'mon.
- Kurt Vonnegut. Sorry, nerds. Check the birthdate.
- H. R. Geiger. Don't ask me why, I just feel it coming.
- Richard Pryor. We've been seeing less and less of him. And you know what that means.
- Michael Jackson, after he's found guilty. And he will be. Suicide.
- Courtney Love. All the perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten that little hand. (Cough.)
- Supreme Court Chief Justice William Rehnquist. Thyroid cancer? Never caught early. Never.
- King Fahd. Born in 1923. Diabetic. Living in Saudi Arabia. UHM.
- Jerry Lewis. Falling apart.
Honorable Mentions:
Fidel Castro.
Bob Barker.
George Carlin.
Wild Card:
Kelly Osbourne. Please.
Stolen from the "Jobs That Take Over Your Life" episode of the best reason to own a radio ever, the NPR show This American Life.
I love this story. Anyone who's ever had an office job for three seconds loves this story. You will love this story.
I'm probably not supposed to be doing this. Don't tell anyone.
Daniel Orozco - Orientation (Read by Matt Malloy)
I need to read more short stories. Problem is, there aren't enough of 'em like this.
