Brain Farts: June 2005 Archives

BEING RIGHT IS SORT OF AWESOME.

Terry McMillan -- whose celebrated romance and subsequent marriage to a man 23 years her junior became the subject of her fictionalized best-seller "How Stella Got Her Groove Back" --

actually got her groove back with a man who now says he's gay.

The story is spilling out in made-for-Hollywood detail in Contra Costa County Superior Court, where McMillan has filed for divorce from her Jamaican- born husband of six years, Jonathan Plummer.

McMillan, 53, said in court documents that the marriage was based on a "fraud'' because Plummer lied about his sexual orientation -- and married her only to gain U.S. citizenship.

AHAHAHAHAHA DUH.

For the record, my mother is Jamaican, and I've been to the island myself about a dozen times. When we first heard about the whole "How Stella Got Her Groove Back" story, we laughed.

See, in Jamaica, the tourist beaches are crawling with exceptionally handsome and charming Jamaican men. CRAWLING. Really. Throw a rock, you'll hit an Adonis. And they all want green cards more than they want to breathe. They'll dive like bomber planes onto anything with an American accent. They're not picky, because they don't plan on staying.

But they'll tell you anything, if they think it'll get them stateside. And it works.

Plummer probably only hung around for six years because he landed a millionaire. Anything less and he would've been gone in two.

So my husband and my friend Gerry snuck into a theatre and saw this movie. They saw part of this movie, and then they tried to describe it to me.

They said the movie was about kids in LA getting dressed up in clown make-up and facepaint and there was some gospel music playing and they all danced to it. As clowns. Dressed up as clowns.

I was sort of hoping they were just kind of messing with me or they got something wrong or it was a mockumentary, but no. It's real. It's called RIZE. And I must be getting old, because this is kind of stupid.

There's a lot of talk about how it's not mainstream, which I guess is good, because mainstream hip-hop/rap sort of makes me want to kill myself. But there's a lot of talk about how original it is, too. Which it's not. Because this was lame back when Insane Clown Posse tried it, and it's still lame now. But at least I haven't heard anyone in RIZE try to sing. Yet.

I don't know. I kind of have that feeling people must have gotten back in the 60s when the toilet tissue companies started trying to sell everyone paper clothes. It's like... sure, The Beatles are wearing orange paper sportscoats, that's obvious. But you're never going to make this cool. Ever. I refuse to let that happen.

The link has a trailer. Please watch it and tell me if I'm being cranky. I really just don't even know anymore.

MEME MEME MEME MEME.

"Nine: A Letter from Mom" is up in the Misc. section, and there's more to come, probably tomorrow. I've got a lot of ground to make up, and a new family or three to introduce, soon. Lots has been going on in my stupid little game, most of it terribly shameful.

Cuz dat's how I like it, baybeh.

This is a cop.

FYI.