Playing With Dead Things: The Mummification of Beavis I, Part Ten: the Final Stretch.

Who feels like looking at endless pictures of the wrapping process?

Anyone?

Show of hands, c'mon.

He knows what's happening. You can see it in his eyes. His dead. Sunken. Eyes.

The first layer of wrapping.

The very first bandage was actually secured to Beavis himself. Which I can tell you was sort of a trial, given that he was positively soaked in oil.

He's almost okay to look at, now!

This is what the finished first layer of bandages looked like. Undignified, but decent coverage. And looks weren't exactly important yet, given no one would ever see this again if everything went according to plan. But before applying the second layer, it was time to cram in a couple ushabtis.

Stunning likenesses.

An ushabti (or shabti, or shawabti, or whatever... ancient Egyptian pictograms, LESS THAN PRECISE) is a tiny sculpture of a person included with ancient Egpytian burials. After a soul is judged worthy by Anubis, the ushabtis are supposed to come to life and serve the buried person (or vermin) in the afterlife.

The ancient Egyptian afterlife was a lot like the ancient Egyptian real life, with its associated drudgeries and physical labor. So ushabtis were provided to haul water, labor in the fields, and do all the other annoying shit that was disappointingly necessary, even in death. Some pharoahs were buried with one ushabti for every day of the year. But Beavis is just a rat. Two servants were good enough for him in life. That should do for him in death, too.

Wind wind wind.

In the wrappings they go.

Zzzz.

There's a lot of compression of time going on in these photographs. Eviscerating and natron-packing was nothing compared to how long it took to wrap Beavis. An entire evening, easily. And he's tiny. That probably had a lot to do with my lack of experience, but it couldn't have gone too fast for real embalmers, either.

Dip the bandage in the goo. Secure the bandage end. Wind the bandage around Beavis. Secure the loose end with more goo. Apply yet more goo to the edges of the bandage for stability. Cut more bandages when you start to run out. Boil more goo when you start to run low. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. Start wondering if this was a good idea in the first place. Brew coffee. Make fiftieth "LOL, it smells like Woodstock in here!" joke. Curse existence.

He's supposed to look like that, actually.

What the third layer of wrapping eventually looked like. The final, more aesthetically pleasing layer of bandages would go over this one.

I pretty much encased the whole body in the incense goo before finishing up, just to be super-extra safe about any loose bandages. This is by the book, too; bucketfuls of a very similar melted resins and aromatics were poured over pharonic bodies to form seals against bacteria.

That's why the archeologists always rip their penises off by accident when they try to unwrap them.

Stickeh.

WHO FEELS PRETTY?

The final layer of bandages is in place, and beautification begins.

Beavis is bedecked in amber, lapis lazuli, and a short leather thong featuring a golden ankh. I got most of it off of eBay, which I'm sure no pharoh would ever approve of. But as far as rats go, Beav is one saucy little fashion maven.

FINALLY.

And... dare I even say it?

We're done. Done.

Beavis I, this is the internet. Internet, this is your savior.

And totally about to catch the Red Line out of Damen after a visit to the tea lounge. Solid.